One Soul
by HopefulNebula
Summary: It's always good to learn about other cultures. COMPLETE! Trip/T'Pol.
1. One Soul

Title: One Soul

Author: HopefulNebula (HopefulNebula@hotmail.com)

Rating: PG for now (for one itty bitty swear), but I might raise it when (yes, _when) I continue this._

Summary: It's always good to learn about other cultures.

Disclaimer: If I owned Enterprise, I wouldn't be wasting time thinking of "I don't own Enterprise" disclaimers, now, would I?

Feedback: All kinds but flames, please.

Visit www.terranbbs.com! I'm LyraSilvertongue there.

Spoilers: Broken Bow, Breaking the Ice, Sleeping Dogs, and The Communicator.

~~~~~

            The mess hall was nearly empty.  A few solitary crewmembers were scattered among the tables, and most of them were reading or doing work rather than making conversation.

            T'Pol sat by a window, loosely holding a padd but not reading it.  Instead, she stared absently at the stars, allowing herself to exist without thinking or worrying.  Her awareness of Enterprise, of the mess hall, slowly slipped away, leaving her consciousness drifting through the stars.  This may have been unusual for T'Pol, but she enjoyed it nonetheless, and so did not fight herself as she entered this reverie.

            She did not know how long she remained like this before she felt a hand on her shoulder, bringing her back to herself.  T'Pol turned to face the one who broke her reverie, the sandy blond engineer who never failed to affect her in any number of ways.

            "Hey, T'Pol."

            "Hello, Commander Tucker."

            "I brought you those crew evaluations you wanted."

            "Thank you, Commander."

            "Mind if I join ya?"

            "No," T'Pol stated flatly.

            "Good."  Trip sat across from her.  They remained silent for about a minute as the Vulcan resumed eating.  Trip, for his part, was deciding whether to ask the question that had brought him to this particular table.  After what seemed a long time to the commander, the inquisitive explorer in him won the mental argument, and he spoke.

            "So, um… T'Pol?

            "Yes, Commander?"

            "I've got a question I've been meaning to ask ya for a while."  He paused a moment, waiting for her consent for him to ask.  When she didn't reply, he realized that she was waiting for him to continue.  "Well, you see, T'Pol, you've mentioned meditatin' to me a lot in the time we've known each other, and I've wanted to know for a while now… what's it like to meditate?"

            T'Pol remained silent, composing her reply.  How could she describe to him the stillness inherent to meditation?  It was both a profound awareness of the universe and a complete lack of awareness, and it defied accurate verbal description because of this dichotomy.  Without intending to, before she could think of anything to say, T'Pol spoke four simple words that surprised even her normally unflappable self:

            "Let me show you."

            "Okay," the cautious engineer answered.

            T'Pol would have been mortified, had she been human.  Teaching Ensign Sato to meditate was simple enough, but training Commander Tucker would be far more of a challenge for her.  She found it hard enough for her to control her thoughts in his presence already; what would this be like?  What would happen to them both, to their friendship, if she was unable to maintain her control?  There was only one way to find concrete answers, and it seemed she didn't have any further choice about whether she wanted to learn them.  

            She took a deep cleansing breath and began.  "First you must sit like this."  T'Pol arranged herself carefully, gracefully, crossing her legs, placing her hands in her lap, and adjusting the angle of her spine against the chair.  Trip copied her position.

            "Wait a second," he asked warily.  "Don't we need a candle or something?"

            "Not for this exercise."  T'Pol paused again.  "Close your eyes."  Trip looked into her eyes, watching them slowly close, before he shut his own.  T'Pol spoke quietly, soothingly, instructing him without disrupting his experience.  "You must breathe deeply, slowly, through your belly.  Completely fill your lungs, then completely empty them.  Focus on your breath, how it feels in your lungs.  If you feel your concentration slipping, return to your breath."  She waited a full minute before continuing.  "Imagine each of your breaths as pure white light.  Hold it in your lungs for a moment before releasing it.  Feel it spread through your body, cleansing all it touches, allowing you to relax." They remained silent for what seemed a much shorter time than had actually passed before T'Pol spoke again.  "Now imagine that everything the light touches slowly decomposes, drifting away as dust… until you are nothing but spirit."

            Trip imagined… and felt nothing, save for embarrassment and self-doubt.  What _had he been thinking?_

            T'Pol felt the table press against her slim body as the engineer shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

            "It's not working," he told her quietly as he slowly opened his eyes.  "I don't feel any different."

            "You're not relaxing," she replied.  T'Pol thought for a beat, wondering if she would have the strength to do what her mind was currently planning.  For the second time in nearly ten minutes, she spoke almost without being conscious of speaking.  "Give me your hand."

            Trip complied.  T'Pol's hands were soft and delicate, yet they were definitely strong, and their skin was thick.  The warmth emanating from them surprised Trip; the last time he had sustained physical contact with the sub-commander was in decon, and they had both been freezing then, from the blizzard on Rigel.  He watched her take his right hand in both of hers, lightly running two of her fingertips over his palm.  Trip was enthralled by her touch.  He seemed focused on it above all else; and this indeed had been T'Pol's intention.  The commander seemed to be in need of a focal point, and she had given him one.  T'Pol had to continually remind herself that this was the only reason she was holding Trip's hand was to teach him about meditation.  Yet she remained doubtful of herself even as she spoke.

            "Now close your eyes again," she requested.  This time, they shut their eyes in tandem, each secretly savoring their last glimpse into the other's eyes.

            They repeated the same exercise, more slowly this time, and more quietly.  Trip's last conscious thought for quite a while was that it was almost like she wasn't actually speaking this time, and indeed, she wasn't.  Along with her instructions, T'Pol was sharing with him a sense of calm, of peace.

            As T'Pol finished her coaching, Trip felt as if he was floating.  The focused calm he felt now had been unimaginable to him only ten minutes before, and now it seemed to be imagining him.  He felt aware of the entire universe, yet oblivious to it.  He had immense energy coursing through his body, but felt completely relaxed.  He simply _was.  Somewhere in the recesses of his consciousness, his thoughts buzzed quietly, and he allowed them to flow without disturbing them._

            Despite this heightened awareness, he did not notice when T'Pol slowly removed her hands from his own and quietly left the table until long after she had gone.

~~~~~

            She slipped her hands away from Trip's, carefully setting his hand down on the table.  Without making more than a slight noise, T'Pol stood and left the table.  What had she been thinking when she chose to touch his _katra?  The contact may have given him peace, but it had left her mind reeling.  She had never felt this while helping Ensign Sato control her emotions.  Their contact during T'Pol's weekly sessions with the ensign helped them both to focus.  But helping Commander Tucker had brought more discord into her being than had seventeen months of living among humans.  Touching him in that way had been a mistake.  That was all.  She would have to meditate some more—__alone, this time, she thought, almost mirthfully—before sleeping tonight._

~~~~~

            It was nearly 2200 hours when Trip returned to wakefulness.  His first impulse was to thank T'Pol for the entire experience.  He currently felt the best he had in years; more relaxed than he could ever remember feeling before, and he was compelled to thank her.

            But she was gone.  His hand still felt warm from T'Pol's touch; there was a lingering energy flowing through his palm that Trip could not explain or understand, and he needed to understand what had just happened.

            For something had, indeed, happened between them that went beyond a simple lesson in meditation, Trip realized.  There had been some energy, some impression, _something, that he could not figure out on his own.  He needed to talk to her._

~~~~~

            T'Pol knew who stood outside her quarters as soon as the door chime rang.  Trip had arrived, and much later than she had anticipated.  Had he waited to contact her?  Or had he continued meditating on his own?  T'Pol thought the latter highly unlikely for the chaotic-minded engineer.  _Perhaps he isn't as unstable as you think, some unconscious part of her noted.  T'Pol suppressed the thought._

            The chime rang again.  T'Pol had three options: she could ignore the commander; she could let him in and be honest with him; or she could let him in and find some excuse for what had happened.  She doubted that ignoring him would do anything but aggravate him, and she only lied if she had no other options.  She had to be honest with him.

            "Come in," T'Pol said.  The doors opened to reveal Trip, in the same informal pants and shirt that he had been wearing in the mess hall.  He was smiling slightly, just enough to make his smile slightly enigmatic.  

            This was only the second time he had been in her quarters.  Last time, T'Pol had been nearly overwhelmed by the scent he had left.  It had taken a full week for it to diminish.  Now, it didn't seem as awful as it had.  She had become acclimated to Trip after all the time they had spent together.  His odor was still… _distinctive, she decided, but more tolerable than it had been._

            "T'Pol… I want to thank you for what you just did for me.  It felt great, it really did."  T'Pol was slightly surprised upon hearing this.  Was he not angry at her for leaving him?  She doubted she would ever understand Trip.  "But I've got another question for you now.  When you touched my hand… what was that?  Why could I only relax then?"

            T'Pol drew in a sharp breath.    Could he really have felt that?

            "And I can still feel something in my hand now.  It's like… Damn, I don't know what it's like.  It kinda tingles.  Feels real strange, kind of like when my arm got cloaked.  It's still warm.  Is that normal?"

            T'Pol shifted in front of her meditation candles.  "Please sit down, commander," she said.  It was almost in the tone of an order, but not quite.  When Trip was situated on the edge of T'Pol's bed, she continued.  "When I held your hand earlier this evening, our _katras touched each other."  Upon seeing his confusion, she clarified: "__Katra is a Vulcan word for living spirit… what you would probably call a soul.  Through this connection, I was able to help you relax and enter a meditative state."_

            "Oh," Trip stated deliberately.  T'Pol raised one eyebrow and continued.

            "The lingering sensations I—" here, she stopped quickly and corrected herself—"_we have experienced indicate that our __katras are more attuned to each other than those of others."_

            "What do you mean, 'attuned to each other?'" Trip asked incredulously.

            "Our… souls are simply closer to each other than either of us had been able to admit before tonight.  It is a phenomenon known as _katran'nyat, or 'one soul,' which is often found in siblings, a mother and her children…" T'Pol paused uncomfortably for a short beat, then continued in a whisper,  "and bondmates.  It should fade soon."_

            "Bondmates?"  It was now Trip's turn to raise an eyebrow in confusion.  Had he just heard embarrassment in her voice?

            T'Pol mentally cursed herself.  Why had she said _that?  She certainly didn't want to explain Vulcan mating rituals to this human.  Those two simple words had complicated relations between them even further.  But she had to explain the concept of bonding to him now, which made her unspeakably uneasy.  "When a Vulcan couple joins in marriage, they form a telepathic bond between themselves."  This answer seemed to placate the commander, who visibly, albeit slightly, relaxed._

            He still had questions, however, and was intent on finding answers.  "So what does this 'one soul' thing mean for us?  We're definitely not siblings, and I don't think you're my mother, even though you're probably old enough to be," he said, laughing slightly.  "Does this mean we have to… bond with each other?" he asked tentatively.

            "No.  However, the fact that we are _katran'nyat probably helps to explain why we are such close friends, despite our radically different personalities," T'Pol replied._

            "Maybe we aren't really that different," Trip theorized.  "Maybe… maybe we're just alike in different ways.  I mean, we're both stubborn, but we both show it differently enough that we usually end up fighting over things.  Friendship has a tendency to work that way." 

            T'Pol nodded.  She knew he was probably thinking of last week in Engineering, when Trip had nearly shouted her out of his office for making an unauthorized change to the duty roster.  As the first officer, she had the responsibility of being sure there were enough people on each shift.  When three of the people on Engineering's alpha shift had contracted a mild stomach virus, T'Pol had pulled two crewmen from the night shift and temporarily had them work on alpha to make up for the discrepancy.  The captain had approved her plan, as had the crewmen in question, but she had neglected to ask for the approval of Commander Tucker.  He had been livid when he found out about the change, much to T'Pol's well-hidden dismay.

            And T'Pol knew that what the commander was saying now was true.  They were genuinely more alike then either had cared to admit before tonight.  The fact that they were _katran'nyat was not a hindrance to her any longer.  She had only one thing she had to ask him now._

            "Commander— Trip— if you are still interested in meditation, I could teach you how to do it on your own."

            "Yes, T'Pol.  And thank you.  For everything," Trip said, stunned, as he got up.  She had never called him Trip before.  She hadn't even called him Charles before.  He knew what had changed, however, and that nothing between them would be quite the same from then on.  On his way out, he crouched in front of T'Pol and lightly stroked her bare arm with the back of his hand.  It produced the same tingling sensation as before, and this time, both human and Vulcan welcomed it.

            As the doors to T'Pol's quarters swished open, Trip asked, "See you tommorrow?"  Even though he never looked back, he knew T'Pol was nodding.

~~~~~


	2. One Mind

This takes place about a month after "One Soul."

Spoilers (for this part):  Mostly the same as before, plus Shuttlepod One and Fusion.  There are also some Trip/T'Pol quotes in here, but they don't spoil anything.

Disclaimer/Etc.: See part 1.

I apologize for the shortness of this chapter, but I'll make it up to you in part 3 (which I _will post sometime in early January, if you guys review.)_

~~~~~

            The shuttlepod was as small as it had ever been.  As much as Trip Tucker loved away missions, he hated going to and from them.  Pods hadn't bothered him until recently, after the incident with Malcolm on Shuttlepod One.  Who could blame him?  He had almost been shot, and almost frozen to death.  Extreme temperatures had never agreed with Trip; he was always the first man down, the most sick, and the last to recover from situations involving them.  It was a weakness of his, but he accepted it, as he accepted long rides in shuttlepods.

            Unfortunately, Trip had worries other than the size of the pod at the moment.  T'Pol was still mostly unconscious from the injuries she had sustained on the planet.  They had been taking a geological survey of an uninhabited planet.  He had only looked away from her for a second.  One second had been all it had taken for the ground beneath them to shake violently and several rocks to roll toward them.  When Trip had turned to her to check on her, he found T'Pol unconscious, with a large green stain on her torn uniform.  Without doing too much thinking, he had run all four kilometers back to the pod, all the while carrying T'Pol in his arms.  Though she wasn't very heavy, it had been hard to run with her in the planet's thin air.  Once she had awakened and groggily struggled with him for a minute before falling limp once more.  He had nearly dropped her.

            Now they were safe in the pod, but Enterprise was taking care of a diplomatic situation a full day out of comm range, and he doubted T'Pol could last that long.  Though he had patched up her lacerations before they could become infected, Trip was certain that that alone would not be enough.  He had to save her.  He'd increase the comm range of the shuttle.  He'd explode the damned engine again if he had to; anything if it saved T'Pol.

            _Now today's been straight out of Murphy's Law, Trip mused as several large sparks flew from the underside of the console where he had been working.  Now the comm was totally dead.  __Or maybe not totally, Trip realized.  The component that had just been fried was the same one that had shorted out before.  This time, they were prepared.  Trip didn't like not having solutions to problems, and he had found a way to bypass the component without compromising the entire communications system.  Of course, it would preclude their being able to reach Enterprise from their current location, but it was still possible that Enterprise could reach them.  Trip made the necessary repairs and sent out a repeating distress call._

            Then he turned to T'Pol, whose condition had been worsening steadily over the three hours they had been in the shuttlepod.  Now, however, her face looked more green than ever, though her eyes were open.  Her breathing was as labored as it had been earlier.  Trip checked her pulse.  Her heartbeat fluttered weakly.  Trip gathered that she had very little time left, and there was nothing he could do.  He stroked her cheek with the back of his knuckles, knowing that this was probably the last time he would feel their souls meet.

            "Trip…" croaked a barely conscious T'Pol.  Her eyes were unfocused, but she knew he was there.  Trip could tell that each word she spoke pained her and cost her energy, but he knew she had to speak.

            "I'm here, T'Pol," he replied, not knowing what else to say.

            "Help…  please… lean closer to me and I will explain more…" T'Pol struggled to say.  She gasped in pain and exertion between most of her words.  Trip complied, and she spread her fingers along the side of his face.

            Suddenly, he felt more connected to her than he ever had, even during the month they had known they were _katran'nyat.  When they meditated together, they often bridged temporary links between each other's minds.  But this… this was different from anything Trip had ever experienced.  Though he remained aware of the shuttlepod, this awareness faded in his mind.  He now knew through the connection that this link would help her maintain essential bodily functions—stable heartbeat, breathing and metabolic function, for instance—long enough for help to arrive.  Suddenly, inexplicably, their link deepened, and Trip found himself on a Vulcan desert overlooking a massive mountain range._

            Trip felt a presence behind him, and without needing to look, he recognized this presence as _hers.  It sparkled against his skin, permeating his own mind and soul.  He turned to face her, and was stunned by her appearance._

            She was backlit by one of the Vulcan suns.  This effect made her windswept hair look nearly red.  She was wearing one of her meditation robes, but it seemed to glimmer in the light.  Trip looked into her eyes and found an incredibly clear reflection of himself in her pupils.  Something he saw there surprised him and he looked down.  Rather than his uniform, which had been stained green from T'Pol's wound, he was now wearing the clothes he had worn the night T'Pol had first taught him what it was to meditate.  A swarm of memories from both their perspectives filled the sky and air, and they watched and listened to them for some time.  _'I'm called Trip.' 'I'll try to remember that.'… 'You didn't shoot me last night, did you?' 'I'm afraid I did.'… 'Well, what do you__ want to do?'… 'You certainly took your time.  He had this pointed at my head.'…  It was amazing, being able to see yourself from the perspective of another.  T'Pol especially was surprised by the discovery that Trip thought she was beautiful. How had he—this expressive, irreverent, transparent __human—been able to hide this from her?  T'Pol thought she had finally come to understand this man, but her journey into his consciousness proved otherwise._

            _Like I said, T'Pol, we're not that different, Trip told her in his thoughts.  __I hide my emotions too… just not all of them.  And I don't think either of us is quite transparent._

            At that moment, however, they were both incapable of hiding anything from the other.  How could they?  There _was no "other."  They were one._

            Though this sensation was entirely new to Trip, T'Pol had experienced something like this once before.  Her brief connection with Tolaris had mentally bared her before, but there was something different about this mind-meld.  It was because they were already so close, T'Pol thought.  They knew they could be this intimate with each other because they knew each other intimately.  They had been one soul, now they were also one mind.  Both of them had finally reached peace, and they rested in this peace until neither could truly remember whether they were conscious or dreaming.

~~~~~

            Trip dazedly opened his eyes.  _Sickbay, he slowly realized.  __The mind-meld.  Damn, my head hurts… "T'Pol?" he asked._

            "She's going to be fine," replied Phlox, who stood beside the biobed with the captain behind him.

            "She woke and broke off the meld shortly after we found you.  T'Pol's recovering quite nicely.  She lost quite a lot of blood, but the doctor was able to synthesize enough to keep her going," reported Captain Archer.  "Phlox wants to keep you both here for a while, until we can determine if the meld had any… adverse effects on either of you."

            "Well, now that you mention it, my head does kinda hurt…" Trip ventured.

            "Aah.  I'll want to run a few scans, of course," Phlox replied.  "Lie back down, please…"

~~~~~

            As T'Pol slowly regained consciousness, she knew that she was in the scanner.  She could feel its walls around her, feel its sounds penetrating her body.  But as she opened her eyes, she saw the ceiling of Sickbay and heard the doctor exiting his office to check on Trip, who _was, T'Pol decided, in the scanner._

            T'Pol attributed the illusion of the scanner to loss of blood before falling back to sleep.

~~~~~

Well, there it is.  Now review, please!  I've got to go work on my French exam…


	3. One Heart

Okay, you win.  Here's part 3 (Take _that, early January!).  Keep posting reviews, or email me at HopefulNebula@hotmail.com.  I love all this feedback. _

Joyeux Noël et Bonne Année à tout le monde!  May there be peace on Earth in 2003, and may we begin by creating that peace within ourselves.

Spoilers for this part: More or less the same as before, plus "Vanishing Point."

Disclaimer/Etc: See part 1.

~~~~~

            "Phlox, I've been in here for three hours.  Can't I leave yet?" asked the impatient Trip Tucker as he paced through the confines of Sickbay.  Trip didn't know what was wrong with him.  He'd just felt _different after the meld, and he wasn't sure he liked it._

            "Not yet, Commander," replied the Denobulan, whose normally extensive supply of patience was quickly waning.  "I still have to analyze that last neural scan."

            "Does it usually take this long?"  Trip, who was tired of pacing, sat on the nearest biobed as he asked this.

            "No," Phlox sighed, "but I do I need to remind you that some of these readings are still anomalous?  Please remain quiet, Commander."

            Trip decided not to protest this time; instead he positioned himself at the head of the biobed and tried to meditate on his own.  He remembered each of the times in the past when T'Pol had helped him, calling on the memories of these times and attempting to create his own peace.  And it was working quite well; he felt the now-familiar sensations of peace, awareness, and relaxation that welcomed him whenever he meditated.

            Suddenly, his mind and body were reeling.  The last time he had felt as if he were in two places at once was when he was beamed aboard from that planet.  That feeling had lasted for less than a second; this time it was much more prolonged.  The sensation was eerie, as if part of him was somewhere, or some_one, else completely.  Trip opened his eyes, rather stunned by the amount of force he had to use to do so.  He shook his head and the sensations were gone._

            "Whoa," he said quietly.  "What was that?"

            "What was _what, Commander?" asked Phlox, who was busily tending to a rapidly waking T'Pol._

            "It was really weird.  It was like I was sitting up and laying down at the same time… like I was two people in two places.  I got really dizzy."

            As the doctor considered these symptoms, T'Pol spoke for the first time since initiating the meld.  She had heard the entire exchange, and it was obvious to Trip that she had felt something strange as well.  "Doctor, may I please have a moment alone with the commander?"

            "Of course," said Phlox.  As he left, Trip sat at the edge of T'Pol's bed.

            "So what just happened, T'Pol?" he asked.  "I know you know something…"

            T'Pol reclined on her biobed, formulating her response.  She had a theory about what had happened, but it was, as Trip might say, a long shot.  She had no options but to share her speculation, however, so she tried to speak.  Unfortunately, she began to cough violently for a moment and was unable to do so.

            For the second time that day, Trip had no idea what to do, so he stroked T'Pol's arm and soothed her as he had once comforted his baby sister long ago. "Shh… it'll be all right, T'Pol.  Just relax.  Breathe nice and slow… there you go.  That's better."  Once she seemed to be better, he asked a different question.  "You know, when that… when whatever it was happened just now, I felt like I was part of you again.  Does that mean we're—" He searched for the word T'Pol had accidentally spoke a month ago—"bonded?" he ventured.

            "No," T'Pol replied.  Trip's relief was outwardly tangible, but only Trip himself could know what else he felt—something like disappointment.

            "So what do you think that was?"

            "I belive that the meld became deep enough to initiate a bonding, though it ended too soon to complete the process."  Trip stared at T'Pol as she said this.  He still wasn't sure exactly how to feel about this.  Part of him was relieved that he wasn't permanently connected to T'Pol, but part of him wanted to take her into him for the rest of his life.  He needed to know more.  He found it ironic that his friendship with T'Pol—the deepest friendship he had ever known—had become what it was by his needing to know more about one telepathic connection, and now required him to know more about another union of their minds.

            "So… that doesn't really explain why we just connected from across the room.  What happened?"

            T'Pol sighed slightly.  Only Trip would have noticed the way she reacted to the question; she seemed almost agitated. "In previous cases of bondings that have been interrupted," she explained clinically, "the people involved have reported sensations similar to what we have experienced.  It seems that whenever one of them reaches the proper mental state—such as meditation, deep relaxation, or sleep—then the couple is, for that length of time, bonded.  It is something known as _thanel'rhiann, or 'the false bond.'"_

            They remained silent for several minutes.  T'Pol was fighting off waves of anxiety as she anticipated Trip's reaction, and Trip was still processing this information.  He had a host of questions now, and needed to decide which ones were worth asking.

            Eventually, he spoke quietly.  T'Pol was easily able to hear him, however; her hearing was quite acute (as the commander had pointed out on numerous occasions).  "So… how long will this last?"

            "In Vulcan couples, this phenomenon lasts approximately one Terran week, though cases have been known to last twice that long."

            "Okay."  Trip assimilated this answer and asked his next question.  "You said you'd felt this too.  When was that?"

            "I regained a slight measure of consciousness earlier, while you were in the scanner," T'Pol replied.  She was surprised to see Trip recognize this event.

            "Oh, so _that's what I felt.  No wonder Phlox kept me here…" Trip told her.  He smiled down at her and continued. "So… does this mean that neither of us will be able to sleep or meditate without feeling… like that?"  he asked, concern touching his voice and features._

            "No; the sensations lessen with time; the first few contacts are the most… disorienting," T'Pol told Trip.

            Trip only nodded.  They lapsed into another silence, each thinking about the possible implications this had for them.  Trip was ambivalent about the entire matter.  He had been thoroughly afraid only a few minutes earlier, but now part of him wanted to feel the sensations of being bonded again and forever.  T'Pol simply tried to ignore or forget the emotions—_his emotions—that coursed through her body.  These feelings were entirely foreign to her; she didn't even know what they were called.  How could she deal with these?_

            Phlox decided after several minutes of waiting to check on the couple in Sickbay.  Finding them both deep in thought, he coughed slightly to rouse them, then asked "So, what is this theory of yours, Sub-Commander?"

            T'Pol and Trip looked directly at one another.  Both of their expressions carried meanings, and both these meanings were clear to the other.  T'Pol's face asked Trip for assistance in explaining this matter to the doctor, but Trip's clearly told T'Pol 'you're on your own here; it's your theory, not mine.'  T'Pol sighed inaudibly and began explaining to Phlox, who interrupted T'Pol repeatedly with questions or ideas.  Trip welcomed the second explanation; it saved him from having to ask some of his more embarrassing questions.

            "I'd like to run a few scans on you, Sub-Commander, and you should expect to stay here for at least three days before you can leave," finished Phlox, who was fascinated by the entire ordeal.  "Commander Tucker, you are free to go."

            "Thank you," Trip whispered, and left Sickbay.

~~~~~

            Trip paced around his quarters.  He hadn't been annoyed by their size before, but at the moment they were far too tiny for him.  Tonight he felt like he was a snake crawling out of his own tight skin.  He had to get out, so he left.

            This was why he was now pacing around the gym.  It gave him far less privacy, but at least he could pace, for that's what he needed to do.  He had to get rid of some of this energy.  What had T'Pol done to him, anyway?  She had _known.  He knew that much already.  She had known this might happen, and done it anyway.  What if they __had been bonded?  How could she have answered to that?  'Sorry, Trip, but we've become lifemates, whether you want it or not?'  That thought genuinely scared Trip, but what scared him even more was the fact that at least part of him __did want it._

~~~~~

            T'Pol had plenty of time alone after Phlox had left Sickbay for the night; rather than meditating, however, she simply lay on her bed and thought.  Slipping into a meditative state would only disturb both herself and the commander, and meditation would not prevent her from dreaming.  Though she had not discussed this with Trip, she knew that bondmates, even those who had only _thanel'rhiann, often shared their dreams.  She almost smiled at what she anticipated Trip's reaction would be if he saw some of her more… __forbidden dreams._

            T'Pol worked to prevent these dreams and forget them whenever she had them, but nothing seemed to help.  Though the details of these dreams were always quite vague, they left her with a surge of emotions like nothing she had felt before today.  Perhaps the commander could help her comprehend these feelings sometime.  T'Pol felt herself slipping into the deep relaxation that precedes sleep, and felt herself entering Trip's mind.

            He was in the gym, and quite agitated, it seemed.  He was definitely _moving; that would make it harder for her to sleep.  Suddenly, however, he stopped, thought __Good night, T'Pol.  Sleep well, and returned to his quarters.  T'Pol finally slept._

~~~~~

            He wasn't sure exactly how he'd known T'Pol was in his mind again.  Trip certainly hadn't heard any of her thoughts, and he hadn't felt incredibly dizzy or disoriented either (though that was probably because he had just executed a very fast 180-degree pivot and was already somewhat dizzy).  It had felt... _normal.  He wasn't sure T'Pol could hear his thoughts, but he closed his eyes, concentrated, and wished her a good night anyway.  A surge of tiredness and relaxation overcame him, and he knew his message was received.  Suddenly, Trip didn't feel so restless, so he returned to his quarters to sleep._

~~~~~

            They were both dreaming.  Though the dream imagery was vague at best, both Trip and T'Pol knew they were in the same environment they had shared during the meld.  _Logical enough, Trip observed.  T'Pol answered him with a silent burst of something from deep within her.  Neither quite knew what it was, or what it meant, but both knew it would be important to their relationship sometime._

            Trip and T'Pol locked hands in a tentative embrace and remained that way until the end of the dream.  When they awoke, neither was sure whose dream it had been.

~~~~~

            When he awoke, Trip took his morning shower and got dressed, as usual.  He was halfway to the mess hall before he realized that the mess hall wouldn't be serving breakfast for another half hour.  Normally, if he woke up this early, he was barely conscious until he'd had his third cup of coffee.  This morning, however, he felt the best he had ever felt in a morning.  It was like he'd slept for a full day and awakened by the sunrise.  It was a beautiful sensation, especially for someone who prided himself on _not being a "morning person."_

            And what could he do with the extra thirty minutes?  Trip had to be amused at that prospect.  There was one and only one item on his pre-breakfast to-do list: See T'Pol.  He turned right at the next junction.

~~~~~

            Trip slipped quietly into Sickbay and checked on the form lying on the biobed.  She was awake, which made any explanations he might have to make much easier for Trip.  He approached T'Pol slowly, quietly, but she still knew he was coming.  Trip sat on the edge of the biobed opposite T'Pol's, so she could see him without moving too hard and aggravating her injury.

            "Hey, T'Pol," he said, at a volume slightly above a whisper.

            "Good morning…" T'Pol replied.

            "How are you feeling this morning?"

            "I am doing… well," T'Pol stated after a moment of quiet deliberation.

            "Good to hear it.  So… that's what being bonded feels like, hmm?" asked Trip.

            "Yes," T'Pol answered stoically.

            "Well, it's not bad at all.  I was expecting that when one of us slept, the other one would have to fall asleep as well," Trip said, chuckling slightly.

            "No.  Bonding is not that restrictive." T'Pol responded.

            Trip became silent after that.  Both human and Vulcan were thinking again, and both about the same thing.  Neither had kept track of time, so Trip eventually bolted up from the bed as he realized he'd be missing either breakfast or the beginning of his shift.

~~~~~

            "Hey Annelle… Looks like we've got another circuit on the fritz up here.  Can you shut down power to section G, upper level, so I can get it fixed?" Trip yelled from the catwalk in Engineering a few days later.

            "Sure, Trip.  Just a sec…" the eager young lieutenant replied, leaving him alone on the upper level.  As the Engineering staff worked below him, Trip focused on the sound of the EPS relays just behind him.  The sounds and impressions of Engineering left him completely after a minute, and he felt himself becoming much less agitated than he had been that morning.  It was a relaxation technique taught to him by T'Pol, and after the harrowing morning he'd just finished, he needed it now.  He had forgotten the false bond, however, and soon felt the sensations of being in T'Pol's mind.  This was her first day back on duty after recovering from her injuries.

            _Tough day? she inquired mentally.  This was a phrase she had acquired from Trip sometime in the past year and a half.  Though she never used it in the presence of others, sometimes Trip could catch her asking him that question._

            _You know it, Trip replied._

            _Can you visit me after your shift? T'Pol requested._

            _Don't I always?  The burst of laughter that Trip sent T'Pol along with his reply was secretly welcomed by the Vulcan.  It was a chance to finally experience emotions safely, and it was a long-awaited opportunity for her._

            _Thank you, T'Pol finished, almost vulnerably._

            "Trip, I've got the power shut down up there… Trip?  Trip!" Annelle Hess shouted from below.

            "What?  Oh, sorry, Annelle.  Thanks… I'll let you know when you can turn the juice back on."

~~~~~

            "So, T'Pol, I got the sense that you wanted to talk to me about something besides the weather today," Trip said as he sauntered into T'Pol's quarters that evening.

            "Yes…" she replied, and waited for Trip to situate himself.  Once he had sat on T'Pol's meditation pad, Trip looked up at her, his eyes nearly begging her to continue.  "I… must tell you that I was not completely honest with you regarding _thanel'rhiann," she began slowly._

            "So, what… it's permanent?" Trip said wishfully.

            "No," T'Pol stated flatly.  

            This time, Trip wasted no energy to pretend not to be wholly dissappointed at this.  In the time they had been "almost-bonded," as he called it, he had learned more about himself and T'Pol than he had ever thought he could know.  He wanted to keep this link and carry it in his soul for the rest of his life.  He wanted to enter her being again and never let go.  He wanted to—

            "However, it is not as uncommon as I had led you to believe.  Sometimes, when Vulcans are allowed to choose their own… mates, they will meet someone else who is not betrothed.  When they start seriously thinking about marrying, this couple will sometimes form a _thanel'rhiann to determine whether or not a bond between them is desirable."_

            "Aah.  Kind of like living together before getting married," Trip said.  T'Pol simply nodded.  "So… are you saying that you deliberatly formed this almost-bond?"  T'Pol was only able to nod once more.  She was genuinely afraid of what Trip's response would be to her duplicity, but was able to curb the sensations.  "And do you think this bond is a 'desirable' one?"  The fear in T'Pol's heart dissipated upon seeing Trip smile—that huge, wide, beautiful, _emotional smile.  _

            Trip correctly interpreted the tiny relaxation of T'Pol's muscles.  He was probably the only person on Enterprise who could have noticed something that subtle about her expressions.  Even though he knew what her response would be, it took all of his courage to say the one thing he had left to say.

            "Good, because I find it desirable, too."

~~~~~END~~~~~

            None of you has any idea how many ideas I had to sift through to come up with this.  I toyed with the idea of having them bonded fully immediately after the mind-meld, or having them connected somehow so they couldn't go too far from one another, or "meld shadows" that would show them the other's perception of the world, but I think this is the most original idea I had, and so I ran with it.

            Well, there you have them.   All three parts of my latest fiction.  I've decided that it's officially early January right now, and I can open all my gifts, so I've got to run, but please remember to review!

            Oh—I've made a few changes to parts 1 and 2.  They're nothing major, but I wouldn't mind if you went back and re-read them… wink, wink.


End file.
